YUMA, Arizona. You’ve decided you’ve had enough. You want to get divorced. You’ve done the work, tried to repair your marriage, but after some thought, you’ve decided it is time to divorce. Choosing to get divorced can be one of the toughest decisions a person will make. Sitting down to have a conversation with your partner about your decision to get divorced can also be one of the most challenging conversations you’ll ever have. If you are thinking about how you’ll break the news to your soon-to-be ex, here
are four things to keep in mind.
- Choose a time and place. According to Psychology Today
, it is important to choose a time and place where you’ll have some private and uninterrupted time to have the conversation. Realize that the conversation is likely to be just one of many you will have, so planning the conversation at the start of the weekend can be useful. If you have children, arrange for them to be cared for so that you can have the discussion alone. Be prepared to encounter a range of emotions during the conversation. Finally, if you fear for your safety, or if a partner in your marriage has been abusive, you may want to consider your safety before you break the news. In the case of abuse, it may be wiser to have the conversation in a public setting, or have your personal items prepared to leave should the situation turn volatile. Consider calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline
, if you are concerned for your safety when breaking the news. Sometimes it is safest to break this news before a friend, family member, or counselor, if you fear for your wellbeing.
- Plan what you will say. According to Psychology Today, starting the conversation with some variation of “I have some difficult news…” can be a good place to start. It is important to be kind, but to be firm and direct. If you are ready to divorce, you don’t want the conversation to end with the possibility of more marriage counseling or leave the possibility open for reconciliation. According to the Huffington Post
, the decision to get divorced shouldn’t be one you make in the heat of a fight. Plan a time when you are calm and when you have had time to sort out your feelings. If you have been through marriage counseling, you can also talk to your counselor privately about how it might be best to break the news. If your marriage has been abusive, some individuals choose to break the news in the safe space of the counselor’s office.
- Be prepared for anger and triggers. If the news comes as a surprise to your former partner, and even if it doesn’t come as a surprise, be prepared for your partner to be shocked, angry, sad, and going through a range of emotions. Your partner might say things to get you to strike back. Don’t take the bait. Try to remain kind and compassionate and understand that your partner may not have had the time to process the decision as you had. There may also be shame in being the one to be told the news, even if you both have been struggling in the marriage.
- Speak to a qualified divorce lawyer in Yuma, Arizona before you have the conversation. Divorce can raise a range of tough questions about finances, child custody, and other issues. It is important to be prepared financially as well as emotionally. Schneider & Onofry, P.C. are divorce lawyers in Yuma, Arizona
who can help you plan ahead before you break the news to your partner. There are steps you may want to take to protect your rights before you file for divorce, like protecting bank account information and information about your shared assets. Visit Schneider & Onofry, P.C., divorce attorneys in Yuma, Arizona
today to learn more about steps you can take to protect your interests before you have this tough conversation. Decisions you make after you have a conversation about divorce can impact your child custody and finances. Before you move out of the house, before you talk to your future ex, and before you do anything, speak to a family attorney.
Schneider & Onofry, P.C.
6024 E. 32nd St.
Yuma, AZ 85365