YUMA, Arizona. Many people count their divorces as one of the most challenging ordeals of their lives. Yet, why do some people seem to rise out of their divorces stronger for the challenge, while others continue to struggle? The Atlantic
recently explored this question, and outcomes among divorced individuals largely comes down to whether people approach their divorces with a growth mindset or a fixed mindset.
What is a growth mindset? With a growth mindset, individuals see setbacks and challenges as opportunities to grow and learn. These individuals don’t believe that their traits are fixed in stone. They believe that they have agency and can improve their lives. Fixed mindset individuals tend to see their traits as fixed and unchangeable. “He broke up with me because I’m never happy.”
How the marriage ends can also impact how both people process the split. If there is a lack of clarity on why the marriage ended or if one partner was dishonest with the other, this can lead to greater turmoil and issues going forward. According to the Cut
, people might break up for a range of reasons. They might feel unloved, unappreciated, or feel that they and their partner are on different paths. Even if the reasons for the breakup are painful, it can offer insight for improvement or help a person understand that the breakup was not their fault, but rather a fundamental incompatibility between two people.
But sometimes, the long-lasting impact involves a person’s identity more than anything else. How you perceived your identity in the relationship and outside of it makes a difference.
Relationships can often lead to enmeshed senses of identity, in which both partners, in some ways, take on traits and interests the other person has. When a divorce happens, individuals need time to regain a sense of separate self and also time to decide what aspects of their partner’s influence they want to carry forward. This can be painful and challenging.
Reframing the narrative about your divorce can also make a big difference on whether the divorce ultimately becomes something positive. People who saw their divorce as a step toward a vibrant future were more likely to thrive than those who saw their divorce as a means to escape a tough past.
Finally, when going through your divorce, it is important to take time to take care of yourself. Tell your loved ones as soon as you can and put your eating, sleeping, exercise, and general well-being first. Make time for friends and family.
Divorce is a legal decision as well as an emotional one, so it might also be wise to seek the help of a divorce lawyer as soon as possible. Some individuals seek the advice of a divorce attorney before they have the final conversation with their partner. Schneider & Onofry, P.C. are divorce lawyers in Yuma, Arizona
who work closely with individuals going through divorce. We can help you ask the tough questions, file divorce paperwork, and help you reach a resolution that is best for your family. Visit us at https://www.soarizonalaw.com/
to learn more.
Schneider & Onofry, P.C.
6024 E. 32nd St.
Yuma, AZ 85365